Reunions: A Time to Reflect, Ask Forgiveness, Give Thanks, and Pray Together!
Now, If Only I Can Attend the Damn Thing!
By
Miriam G. Aw
The Season of Summer is usually the time when people across all racial, ethnic, cultural, geographic, class, and spiritual lines, come together to see relatives, friends, neighborhood chums, former classmates, acquaintances, and loved ones, all of whom who’ve touched someone's lives at one point or another in life, thus reuniting as one under the same umbrella. This indeed can be a joyous occasion.
There was a time when reunions were slated only for family gatherings to claim their existence on the family tree via the roots of their ancestral heritage through the wearing of T-shirts, caps, and other apparel ascribed to the names of their ascendants proudly on their person. Such a gathering is a feast in itself
knowing from whence you came, and to introduce the latest generational descendants to the myriad of relatives who begat from the same ancestral loins.
In addition, a family reunion is also the reason for ’elders,’ such as the matriarch and/or patriarch of the family tree to be honored with respect, so that they may witness the generational legacy of descendants they helped to begat.
Reunions of any kind can bring about joyous feelings within oneself thanking God to be in a position to see folks whom we have known all of our lives, for a short while, or who is new to us in hopes of developing future relationships of strong kinship hereafter to enjoy.
There is no doubt that reunions can bring about an abundance of self-worth within oneself to rejoice a resounding ’Thank God, I am still here’ noise to everyone, and anyone within ear shot, and/or eye-range of our/their presence.
And of course, reunions are also reminders of people whom we knew, but who are no longer living among us leaving an impact of emptiness in the hearts and souls of those who were left behind to revive their existence by uttering their names among the Heavens on Earth, and share reflective memories of their existence, so that they will never be forgotten on a subsistent level.
The power of reunions in this manner can help to keep the spiritual embers of our loved-ones and friends’ past physical presence fluttering in the wind in a gentle way that no one can ever deny their Being was indeed an integral part of our lives.
On the other hand, there are some people who believe that reunions are nothing more than an annual event to air out grievances, or harbor ill-will against someone, based on gossip, rumors, and other negative actions of distaste and disdain. Such behavior should be left at home where it belong. Then again, a one-on-one with the two parties involved need to thrash it out on a verbal, yet, intelligible level, at a neutral place, and not at a reunion housed with people who have nothing to do with the matter.
All in all, Reunions are powerful spiritual engines-of-forces that drives many people from all walks of life to engage in full-throttle to fulfill a need of ’belonging’ that no one can fully understand other than the person who is seeking this purposeful duty to interact with others who are of the same ilk, and/or exhibit like-mindedness.
So, why are reunions becoming powerful annual events for hundreds to thousands of people to gather as one? And how important is it to have annual or bi-annual reunions as the source of coming together under one umbrella?
I, for one, believe that reunions of any kind should have meaning, purpose, a duty-of-call to engage in interactive dialogue that can bring about positive change for all of those who attend reunions.
Reunions of any kind should be a place a cohesiveness for people to assemble, so that they may learn from each other, help each other, share information with each other, forgive each other, and pray together as one, in spite of any past discretion, and/or our varied religious/spiritual beliefs many of us hold today as adults.
I remember attending my high school reunion many years ago. And suffice to say, it was nice, but disappointing at the same time. During this time, I realized that many of the fond memories of people I have held in my heart were not shared by many of the people whom I remembered in life. Now THAT IS a revelation!
There was one particular classmate who I saw at the high school reunion who claimed that she did not remember me at all.
What? Me? You don’t remember me?
It’s amazing how some folks claim not to remember you, especially when you pulled their butt out of the fire numerous times, and/or helped them when no one else would at that time. Oh well,
it is was it is . . ., or should I say
it is what it was!
In any event, it happened, but that little bit of revelation did not put a damper on my night, nor did it sour my feelings about reunions.
Happily, I can say that there were more former classmates who’ve remembered me than I realized. And I was so glad to learn that there were some nice things I did, and/or said to my former classmates that had left an indelible mark in their lives. As a matter of fact, to date, I am often reminded about something I had did, or said, by a lot of folks who’d ‘thank me’ years later for the kind words I’ve said, or shown gestures of concern.
Another type of reunion that I’ve yet to attend is my
neighborhood reunion located in Bronx, New York, and is held every August. When I first learned about it from a childhood friend whom I grew up with in the same building, I remember thinking that this is indeed a reunion I can relate to in every way.
Unlike my four years in high school, my
neighborhood reunion with people whom I literally grew up together in multi-dwelling units housing with diverse people hailing from all walks of life since birth, and sharing the same upbringing, is definitely my cup-of-tea, as well as being truly a blessing that is immeasurable.
Unfortunately, however, to date, I’ve yet to attend my annual neighborhood event in Bronx, New York, but not through the lack of trying I assure you. Last year, I was speaking with one of my paternal aunts explaining how things seems to pop-up every time I attempt to attend my neighborhood reunion. She told me point-blank ’When it’s meant for you to go, you’ll get there!'
Thank goodness for social network sites, or else I may not ever get to communicate with some of my former neighborhood friends, classmates, neighbors, and so forth. Prayerfully, I will see them all in one sitting at the neighborhood reunion next year. Until then, I guess I’ll have to rely on the Internet to reach out, and
post someone!
Although reunions are known to assemble family members, communities, [former] classmates, and so forth, to have an enjoyable fun time, I believe that reunions have a few other purposes that will forever prevail for allowing folks to further enrich their lives, and who are humbly thankful to be alive to attend such an event whenever the opportunity is given to do so.
I guess what I am trying to say is that ‘reunions’ are also a time to allow some people to wrestle or confront past demons, as well as allowing them the opportunity to reciprocate in kind by saying kind words of “Thank You” or “I’m sorry” to someone, or some people, when otherwise such an opportunity hadn’t present itself to do so in the past.
With that said, the following are merely suggestions I believe can help to foster positive solidarity at any, or all reunions, regardless of who you are, what you represent, why you’re there, when it is held, or where it is located:
Be Real:
- Seek forgiveness from those who’ve been wronged by you via words or action(s);
- Share information that can help the next person (i.e., employment, legal or medical advice, business opportunities, and so forth);
- Be yourself! Do not be pretentious spewing falsehoods. Do not inflate your worth because your ‘self-worth’ is immeasurable and priceless;
- Accept people for who they are TODAY, and NOT how they were YESTERYEAR (What we did as children, or younger in age, should not diminish who we are today as [wiser] adults), and
- .Reflect fondly talking about the good old days with humbleness, fondness, and sincerity.
Prepare Early for Next Year’s Reunion with Variety:
- Delegate a person, or persons, to formulate a master list of everyone who’d attended the reunion with names, addresses, emails, phone numbers, etc., to advise them of more functions to be held throughout the following year.
- Put together a concert, sporting event team (i.e., softball, handball, stickball, etc.) to be performed at the reunion [Although many folks are just happy to be alive to attend the reunion, it can be nice to spice up the reunion to leave some memorable events];
- Involve the children/grandchildren in the reunion planning. After all, they are an extension of us, and it will be nice to see the present generation engage in something positive, so that they, too, can continue the annual event with pride;
- Designate a central location at the reunion venue with a “Media Center” to host the reunion via “Live Webcam” to allow anyone who could not attend the reunion to allow them to speak with/give shout-outs to those who are at the reunion, in ‘real time’ via a laptop computer (i.e., Skype, Tiny Chat, Google, etc.).
Reunions should and must
not be a breeding ground for past pettiness of ill-will ignorance to be strewn around that was harbored within oneself for years. It only sour the attitudes of all who attend this festive occasion.
Facts of Life: Our Personal Daily Union with Family
The truth of the matter is that all of us have changed since childhood, high school, and/or college. We’re parents, grandparents, and have in-laws, neighbors, co-workers, our place of worship, colleagues, and so forth, whom we have known for either many years, or for a short time.
Our families are growing. And yes, we have our good days, and our bad days. But the days we do have are our own to deal with in the best way possible.
In other words, we are now adults thrust with responsibilities, obligations, commitments, deadlines at work . . . basically speaking, we’re trying to live the best way we know how with what we have in order to fulfill what has been bestowed unto us by a Higher Power than our own!
I would be remiss if I did not mention that I have never attended the family reunions on my father nor my mother’s side of the family. In fact, I don’t recall if there were annual family reunions on my mom side, especially since she was an only child. Plus, I’ve always visited my mom’s side of the family often throughout the year. I believe you don’t have to wait until all year just to see your peeps.
And as far as my dad’s side of the family, well let’s just say I’ve never attended any of the reunions. Hey, what can I say? It is what it is! It doesn't mean that I do not like them all. I do! I have, however, attended other people’s family reunion events, and they were very enjoyable.
My philosophy about the word ‘family’ goes deep with me. Simply put:
“Just because you’re related to someone doesn’t mean you’re ‘family.’ And if you’re not related to someone, it does not mean that they cannot be considered as family.”
I have seen actual love for family at some of the reunions I’ve attended. And that’s enough for me to write about it.
Reunions, you’ve got to love them because it is possibly the one annual event that most people look forward to attend to alleviate the stress of living hectically throughout the year. And there are those who may have dealt with the death of a loved one, or perhaps is going through a personal struggle with their health, or a loved one’s health.
Well, the holidays will be rolling around soon. Cool air will be
(If it hadn’t already) forcing us to wear our jackets and sweaters soon. Yes, it is the Season of Autumn. Brisk air is upon us, and the turning of the leaves will soon become a thing of the past in either the months of November or December.
And during the hard Season of Winter, a myriad of us will be wishing for the Summer months to roll around quickly in the anticipation of attending another family, school, or neighborhood reunion. Whichever it is, I pray that you, and your family, will enjoy your personal [re]union with family and friends throughout the remainder of this year with bountiful blessings bestowed unto you all!
In the meantime, enjoy the four Seasons of life everyday. Don't wait for that one-day-a-year reunion event to see folks. Visit your loved ones, school chums, old neighborhood, and/or neighborhood friends and classmates whenever you can anytime throughout the year. Bottom line: Schedule your own personal reunion.
Hey, it is what it is . . .so do it when you can!
Peace and Blessings!
Copyright 2011. All rights reserved.
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