Fusing The Generational Family Nucleus To Achieve Economic Survival in the 21st Century!
What Worked [Back]Then Does Not Work Today!
written by Miriam G. Aw
Once upon a time there was a belief that the 'Rites of Passage' initiation for most males (and females), ages 18 through 25 to gain self made independence were to go out into the world to attend a go-away college, register at a local community college, start looking for a job to work from the bottom up toward a higher position or title in life, or voluntarily enlist in any branch of the U.S.A. armed services. This merely meant that it was time to leave the nest, and become 'their-own-man, or woman,' to achieve sole independence, so that mommy and daddy will no longer be in charge of their comings and goings.
In the meantime, a myriad of the parents of these youngsters have either attended college to gain a degree, or have always worked for someone else since graduating from high school, thus, building a financial nest egg in the bank, and/or living in a modest home long before the current mortgage bubble explosion that exists today in the 21st Century. And for the parents to see their son, or daughter, paving their own path in life by getting their own apartment, or purchasing their first home, illuminates joy in their heart and soul giving them 'bragging rights' to share with family, friends, co-workers, etc., about how "independent, and successful" their child is doing in the world!
However, whenever a young man or woman who range from the ages 18 through 29, for example, decides to pursue his or her own aspirations (i.e., attend [local] school, work) without leaving their parents' home (especially these days), but instead, opt to remain at home to achieve their objectives and goals are looked upon negatively due to the so-called 'traditional' outlook of what makes a self-made young man, or woman. Well, those days are long gone, and have been gone for the past five to ten years!
These same people (most of whom are children, and/or grandchildren of the baby-boomer generation) who've trenched their way in life living through their parents and grandparents' traditional muck and mire 'way-of-thinking' in this country of what is considered 'successful versus failure' have literally destroyed their own 'life-course-path' in the world. And as a result of this, they have become subjected to, and victims of a whole slew of undercutting business practices that has askew the moral fiber of wanting to achieve the traditional 'American Dream' of achieving prosperity, independence, financial security, as well as passing-on morals & values to their children. But instead, these dreams have been smashed through greed, selfishness, racism, bias toward class and education, to the point of becoming an American Nightmare, to say the least, for millions of people in the U.S.A.! In this case, the predatory mortgage lending practices, the failure of the banks, housing & foreclosures, food, gasoline, and the list goes on and on!
I Want To Provide To My Children What My Parents Could Not Do For Me - No longer is the so-called 'traditional' thinking, getting, nor living the American Dream feasible, nor obtainable, until the meaning of the American Dream is reexamined and redefined on a personal level by every family living in this country dictating what works best for them, and NOT defined, nor dictated by anyone else!
This is another day, another century, another time, and there is another way of surviving economically living in America, by our own individual terms! As a person who have always preferred to 'go-against-the-grain,' and is inherently suspicious of anyone, ESPECIALLY the media, politicians, government, etc., who insists on dictating 'what is correct versus what's not correct,' 'what you should do versus what you shouldn't do,' whom you should believe versus whom you should not believe,' and last but not least, 'what is good for you versus what is not good for you,' tells me to closely examine THEM, and not whom they say are not right in the world! What worked [back]then, does not work today!
In other words, it is time to start EXAMINING THINGS FOR YOURSELF by THINKING FOR YOURSELF, in order to IMPROVE YOURSELF for SELF SURVIVAL! And how can this work for you and/or your family? DO WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY! PERIOD!
So, what can you do, as a family, to conquer the economic woes that you and your grown children may be facing today? As a wife, and parent of three (Ages 24, 17 and 14) children, I FULLY understand how difficult it is to 'go-against-the-grain' in society by not allowing other people to define who you are in life, or define what you do is correct, incorrect, feasible, or not feasible. Why? Because these same people DO NOT pay my bills! Until someone comes up to ring my door bell, call me on the telephone, text me, write me a letter, or email me, to tell me that they have a couple of thousand of dollars for me, so that I can handle my financial obligations, then I have to do what is best for me, and my family, for ALL OF US to become comfortable, and less stressed! Plainly speaking, it is time to take charge of our life to 'preserve our sanity' at all cost, if we are to survive economically, socially, personally, academically, financially, and spiritually! [http://www.lulu.com/content/1237524]
How Can Parents and Grow[n]ing Children Fuse Their Various Sources Together As a Family?
Depending on where you live in the U.S.A., there are so many options you can choose to ensure that you and your family can live in harmony, despite what other families are, or are not, doing to maintain a financial and spiritual harmonious relationship. For example, as a native Bronx, New Yorker, born and reared, I've always believed as a young teen that there will be a time in the near future that what exist at that time will no longer become a fact down the road. With that said, my spiritual understanding of what was to come were in multiple folds:
- New York, N.Y. will change forever their outlook on what being 'neighborly' means;
- We will be put into a position that growing our own food becomes a MUST, if we are to know what goes in, and is kept out from our eating source;
- We will no longer know our immediate neighbors in our community;
- Our sense of "What's mine is mine" has dominated our sensibility turning against our inherent humanitarian gut of doing what's right;
- We got too damn cute to give a damn about anyone other than ourselves, or our immediate family nucleus within the confines of our four walls;
- The 'Haves' versus the 'Have Nots' living in America will ALL BECOME 'Have Nots' because 'Middle Class' will no longer exist, due to a long-lasting overt & covert design of separating people by race, culture, education, money, and religion. [You know what I mean: The "Once Was Us, Now It's You" thing has back fired and has exploded in America's face leaving NO MORE middle class versus working class versus the affluent class because ALL CLASSES HAVE BEEN SCREWED regardless of race, education, money, and/or religion, EXCEPT the so-called 'low class' because no one gave a damn about this class of people from the start! Now, America is beginning to FEEL just how "low-class" it has become!];
- The ideals that our parents and grandparents believed in will no longer become the mainframe of the American Dream (i.e., two children, a house with picket fences, and a dog);
- The idea of retiring to the ripe age of 65, and living it up by taking vacation trips, and spoiling the grandchildren with luxuries;
- The younger generation born in the latter 70s, 80s, and early to mid-90s to parents who were born in the 50s, 60s, and early to mid 70s WILL NOT enjoy the traditional American Dream ideals due to the destruction and elimination of so many much needed programs that were annihilated during the 70s, 80s, etc.;
- Education taught in public schools throughout the country will "dumb-down" its curriculum, and fear thought-provoking youngsters, all of whom in each generation born will become more vocal, fearless, and intelligent bucking & challenging the old negative traditional ways of what the American Dream is all about;
- And much much more, that is becoming evident on a daily basis by ALL generations of the past and present.
FAMILIES NEED TO RE-ESTABLISH PRIORITIES TO ACHIEVE HARMONY:
- Buy some land: Grow your own vegetables, fruits, trees, shrubs, herbs, etc. [http://www.lulu.com/content/1253420] You can build a house, or put a house onto your piece of land. The "Manufacturing Housing" business somehow has not been affected by the predatory mortgage lending problems that are faced today with the purchasing of existing homes. Buying land can be one of the BEST things you can do for you and your family while leaving a legacy for future generations! Whether it is a half-an-acre, 1 acre, 2 acres or more, you will find yourself building a 'Community' within a community when you add up all of the savings you and your loved ones can enjoy by pulling together to achieve self-preservation. [Most people who grew up in the city (like myself) may never leave the city surroundings. The availability of mass transit (i.e., buses, trains, taxi cabs & vans) can be a selling point as to why many people DO NOT leave the city environment. There is no [najor] mass transportation here in many parts of South Carolina. Although, there are some mass transit in major cities within the state, driving your own vehicle is the mainstay mode of transportation, everywhere, except for public school children who ride the school bus daily to and from home/school. Granted, I miss using mass transportation, but you have to ask yourself: What is important in these days & times of uncertainty when you are dealing with constant 'recall' of food and beverages in your area? And how about 'Housing' in the cities, which are becoming increasingly too high to live, comfortably?]
- Build a small to mid-size house, or Put a manufactured house onto your land: No one has the time to try to keep up with the Jones's, especially with a 3000 or more square foot house! You've got to think smart, and know your financial limitations. Think about what works best for you and your family: Do I really need five bedrooms, a den, living room, bonus room, 4 bathrooms, guestrooms, playroom, basement, attic, pool, etc.? You've got to ask yourself how much space can I seriously live with, especially since the fact that I am getting OLDER, and NOT younger? Do I really want to pay my local utility company for air-conditioning and heat a lot of money? Can I really afford that? In addition, know not only yourself, but also your family! Is he or she home often? Day job or night job? Girlfriend or boyfriend? Respect of space and understanding among EVERYONE is extremely important, and doable! Really! So, before you get carried away with what kind of house you want, think smartly and intelligently about how much you NEED!
- Build an Addition to your existing house: One of the most intelligent and smartest thing I believe a person can do is to ADD-ON to their existing house with bedrooms, bath, and/or play room. Particularly, if there are grown children who would love to become a part of such a project. I've always loved two-family homes, and mother-daughter homes. It allows family members to be close, geographically, thus giving each other space within their own domain, as well as sharing with the expenses. Today, in Year 2008, and in the 21st Century, the thought of families beginning to germinate this idea of building additions to the existing house, and/or building two-family homes, or mother-daughter houses no longer have negative connotations associated with it anymore. Why? In these days and times, NO ONE can afford to act stupid, selfish, greedy, manipulative, controlling, and most of all, ungodly in their words and actions! Spiritual repercussions are becoming more and more evident everyday! Once you do wrong, or wrong others with your wicked ways, I assure you that it won't be long that it will turn itself around, and back fire toward you! Again, think smartly, shop around for the BEST person to do the job, or slowly research about doing the project yourself, if you're known to be handy, and do the job yourself at your own pace!
- BUY OR RENT A CAMPER: When I first saw a hand few of people who were living in campers until they were able to buy or build their home on their land, I said to myself "Wow, this is smart!" And it is smart! They were on their own land, they did not have to pay anyone to be on the land, and the best thing: they had their own lodging, cooking, bath, and prepared their land with growth of vegetables, fruits, trees, etc. right there! SMART, SMART, AND TRIPLE SMART! In addition, a couple of them were able to leave their camper, go back up north (i.e., New York, Maine), and continue to live there, and return whenever they're ready WITHOUT ever having to go to a hotel or motel!
- Mortgage/Rent, Utilities: Parents and grown children must go back to the days of 'uniting' together. Remember the movie "Raisin in the Sun?" Momma, grown son and his family, and his sister were living together in one household. Was it tough at times? Sure. Did they have respect for one another? Sure. Did they have disagreements? Of course. But what was more important, did they have faith? YES! The point I am making is that such a family scenario is not only doable, but is needed in today's economy, and the lack of godliness and faith that continues to permeate among our younger generation. Can they grow maturely? Yes. My parents have always instilled in me to "pay where I lay" because you cannot live anywhere in this world without paying someone for lodging, eating, driving, etc. You cannot and should not free-load yourself off of people, and your character and integrity is worth more in this world than any amount of money! It has been my personal observation of some people who will find numerous excuses so that they did not have to pay rent. Sad. And nine times out of ten, its these same people whom you'll find constantly moving from pillar to post. Now, this doesn't apply to those who love to travel, and move to different places within their lifetime. On the contrary. What I'm talking about are people who are trying to be more than what they are about in life, but somehow appear to be seemingly misguided with a belief that they don't have to put out if they're not happy with what they got at that moment. SOME FAMILIES CAN LIVE AND WORK TOGETHER TO SURVIVE THE ECONOMICAL WOES IN AMERICA! All it takes is a little sacrifice on everyone's part, and complete godly faith!
- Decide What Everyone Can Use: For example, as you all know, effective as of February 17, 2009, all analog televisions will not work without the aid of a t.v. converter, or digital apparatus. So, with that said, make sure that products like these are in the home. Also, receivers, and other structures that will allow viewable pleasures for everyone in the household.
More information about how you can fuse your family's economical survival later on. Please enjoy, and remember that you must work with what is best for you and your family, and not what others think is best for you and your family.
Recommended Sites/Area To Buy Land:Santee, South CarolinaSoutheastern Orangeburg County, South Carolina
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Copyright 2008 by Miriam G. Aw. All rights reserved.
